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WOMEN'S NEPAL |
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Nepal is a relatively easy place for a woman to travel. In most
parts of the country you'll be of interest mainly as a foreigner rather
than as a woman, and, as such, the atmosphere is tolerant and
inquisitive rather than threatening or dangerous
Dealing with men
Nepali society is on the whole chaste, almost prudish; men are almost
universally respectful, and perhaps a little in awe, of foreign women.
Sexual harassment is on the whole low-key, and need rarely upset your
travels. Staring and catcalling happen sometimes, but it's nowhere near
as bad as in India, or indeed most of the world, and it rarely goes any
further than words. Your chief danger comes from a few predatory
trekking guides.
However, wearing revealing clothes will up the chances of receiving
unwelcome advances. It's easy for Nepali men to get the idea that
foreign women are wanton - relatively speaking, they are. Wearing a
short dress, shorts or loose-fitting top may reinforce this stereotype
for some men. That doesn't mean you have to wear Nepali clothes, it just
means that you ought to wear more modest foreign clothes that don't
reveal thighs or shoulders. In tourist areas you can buy cheap calf-length
dresses and skirts that fill the bill.
If you trek on one of the popular routes and see how many trekkers wear
skimpy clothes, you might wonder whether this is obsolete advice. It
isn't. It's true that Nepalis along the main routes have seen everything
by now, and in any case they're too polite to say anything. So you can
get away with it, but you'll definitely widen the distance between you
and the Nepalis you meet, and you can pretty much forget about any
rewarding cross-cultural interactions.
A woman travelling or trekking alone won't be hassled so much as pitied.
Going alone ( eklai) is most un-Nepali behaviour. Locals (of both sexes)
will ask if you haven't got a husband - the question is usually asked
out of genuine concern, not as a come-on. Teaming up with another female
stops the comments as effectively as being with a man.
If you find yourself without a reserved seat on a public bus , you can
make your way to the front compartment, where preference is usually
given to women and children. About the only form of discrimination
you'll encounter is during toilet stops, when you'll have to hunt around
for a sheltered place while men are free to pee by the side of the road
(yet another reason to wear a long skirt).
Tarai cities and border towns are another matter, unfortunately. Some
men here, as in northern India, have some real misconceptions about
Western women, and may try for a surreptitious grope or even expose
themselves. Travelling with a man generally shields you from this sort
of behaviour. If that isn't possible, or if you resent having to do so,
don't be afraid to make a public scene in the event of an untoward
advance - that's what a Nepali woman would do. Though he'll pretend it
wasn't him, all eyes will be upon him and he won't try it again.
Of course, you may find you want to strike up a relationship with a
Nepali man. If so, you should have no trouble finding eligible
candidates in the tourist bars. Quite a few women travellers fall for
trekking or rafting guides - the men of highland ethnic groups, such as
Sherpas, have very similar views to ours on sexual equality - and
Kathmandu has a small but growing community of women who have married
and settled there. However, be aware that Nepali men are not without
their own agendas: exotic romance, conquest, perhaps even a ticket out
of Nepal. If you suspect ulterior motives, let him down gently but
firmly and he'll usually retreat gracefully.
Meeting women
A frustrating aspect of travelling in Nepal is the difficulty of making
contact with Nepali women . The tourism industry is controlled by men;
women, who are expected to spend most of their time in the home and are
given fewer educational opportunities, have little contact with
foreigners and speak much less English. If you're lucky enough to be
invited to a Nepali home for a meal, chances are the women of the house
will remain in the kitchen while you eat, only emerging to clear the
plates and eat the leftovers. Upper-class women are free of these
restrictions and are often well educated, but of course they don't have
to work so they, too, have few dealings with travellers.
The sexual politics are different among highland ethnic groups, which is
as good a reason as any for going trekking . Along trekking routes, many
women run teahouses single-handedly while their husbands are off guiding
or portering. Proud, enterprising and flamboyant, these " didis " are
some of the most wonderful women you're likely to meet anywhere.
Language may be a problem off the popular trails, but that doesn't rule
out all communication. On buses, women will be much more approachable in
the front compartment. And anywhere you go, having a child with you will
always open doors.
The Rough Guide Special, Women Travel, gives one Western woman's account
of travelling in the country.
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