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CULTURAL HINTS |
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Customs and traditions run deep in Nepal. Few Nepalis get the chance
to travel abroad, so their only exposure to the outside world is through
travellers. This puts a great responsibility on visitors to be sensitive
to Nepali ways and values, and to project a favourable image of
foreigners.
Many different ethnic groups coexist in Nepal, each with their own
complex customs. In the Kathmandu Valley, where they mix the most,
there's a necessarily high degree of tolerance of different clothes and
lifestyles - a fact that travellers sense, and often abuse. Away from
the tourist areas, however, these groups are quite parochial, and
foreign ways may cause offence.
The dos and don'ts listed are more flexible than they sound. You'll make
gaffes all the time and Nepalis will rarely say anything. The list is
hardly exhaustive, either: when in doubt, do as you see Nepalis doing.
The important thing is to show a willingness to adapt and learn
Common courtesies
Namaste ("I salute the god within you"), the standard Nepali
greeting for strangers, acquaintances and friends, is traditionally
delivered with palms together as if praying. Namaskar is a more formal
or subservient variant. The height to which the pressed-together hands
are raised roughly corresponds to the degree of deference being shown.
Nowadays younger Nepalis are pretty informal about their namaste -ing,
and often just flip the right hand in front of the forehead like a
vertical salute. Returning a namaste with the appropriate gesture is a
complex social calculation, but as a foreigner you need not worry too
much about it - a middle-of-the-road namaste with hands at chest level
will suffice for most situations.
One of the many delightful aspects of Nepali culture is the familiar
forms of address that Nepalis use when speaking to each other: didi ("older
sister"), bhai ("younger brother"), buwa ("father") and so on. To a
large extent these are used to avoid speaking another person's name,
which Nepalis are somewhat superstitious about, but they are also used
between strangers.
Nepalis don't automatically thank people for rendering services that
they're paid to do, especially not servants or employees. The word
dhanyabaad is normally reserved for a person of higher rank or someone
who has gone above and beyond the call of duty - it's inappropriate to
toss it around as casually as we say "thank you". Nepalis who aren't
used to dealing with foreigners find it a bit disconcerting to be
thanked for simply bringing a plate of food, although the practice is
accepted in tourist areas.
The gestures for "yes" and "no" may also cause confusion, since Nepalis
don't nod or shake their heads. To indicate agreement, rock your head
slightly to one side and then back the other way. To tell a tout or a
seller "no", hold one hand in front of you, elbow pointing towards the
ground, and swivel your wrist subtly, as if you were adjusting a
bracelet. (Shaking the head in the Western fashion looks too much like "yes".)
Caste and status
In Nepal, where Hinduism is tempered by Buddhist and other influences,
caste doesn't dominate social interactions to quite the extent that it
does in India. Nevertheless, caste is deeply engrained in the national
psyche, as even non-Hindus were historically assigned places in the
hierarchy based on ethnic affiliation or occupation. Following India's
lead, Nepal "abolished" the official caste system in 1963, but a
millennia-old system cannot be dismantled overnight. For most Nepalis,
caste and status continue to determine what they do for a living, whom
they may (or must) marry, where they can live and with whom they can
associate.
In a Hindu society, foreigners are technically casteless , and their
presence is polluting to orthodox, high-caste Hindus. In Nepal, this is
really only a big deal in the remote far western hills, but wherever you
travel you should be sensitive to minor caste restrictions: for example,
you will not be allowed to enter the kitchen of a high-caste Hindu home.
However, status ( ijat) is an equally important factor in Nepalese
society, and as a foreigner you have a lot of it: you are fabulously
wealthy, in the eyes of most Nepalis, and your culture dominates the
world. Status adds extra complexity and nuance to interactions between
strangers. Meeting for the first time, Nepalis observe a ritual of
asking each other's name, home town, education, profession and age, all
to determine relative status and therefore the correct form of address
and level of deference. When you meet Nepalis you, too, will be
subjected to this twenty-questions treatment. Incidentally, business
cards now streamline this process, so it might not be a bad idea to
bring a handful with you to Nepal (and indeed to most Asian countries).
Eating
Probably the greatest number of Nepali taboos - to an outsider's way of
thinking - have to do with food . One underlying principle is that once
you've touched something to your lips it's polluted ( jutho) for
everyone else. If you take a sip from someone else's canteen, try not to
let it touch your lips (and the same applies if it's your own canteen -
you're expected to share). Don't eat off someone else's plate or offer
anyone food you've taken a bite out of (with one exception: a wife may
eat her husband's leftovers), and don't touch cooked food until you've
bought it.
Another all-important point of etiquette is eat with your right hand
only . In Nepal, as in most Asian countries, the left hand is reserved
for washing after defecating; you can use it to hold a glass or utensil,
but don't eat, wipe your mouth, pass food or point at someone with it.
It's considered good manners to give and receive everything with the
right hand - or, to convey respect, with both hands. Sherpas and some
other highland groups regard the family hearth as sacred, so don't throw
rubbish or scraps into it.
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